Are my hands my own?

I'm a maker. That's what I do, that's who I am. Creations just flow from my fingers, and it's been this way since I was a very little child. My passion for creation runs hot and deep within my soul and sometimes I fear that creating for school and clients will be the death of that passion. 

I can not remember the last time that I made something with my own two hands for just the pure joy of making it, and that saddens me more than I can ever explain.

I trudge and toil over work for school, and projects for my clients that I generally love, but at the end of the day there is hardly any creation left in these fingers. I hope that this feeling is one that just comes with the territory of college, and that the struggle to get through school leads to a brighter more free future, because if that part of me is snuffed out, I wont have a career not to mention a major part of who I am.  I sometimes feel like my hands are not my own anymore, they are for hire. The distinct lack of personal projects is what makes work for school or clients, that would otherwise be intriguing, seem just like a chore. Without the outlet for the amount of personal creation that builds up in my brain, the other work can seem like punishment.

Being without steady work now is presenting me with an opportunity. I have plans. Plans for things that will bring that passion and enthusiasm back to life, and hopefully spill over into my design and school work as well. It's time for a refresh, a reacquainting with a part of me that has laid dormant over the last few years while pursuing this thing that non makers call important. School is important if I'm going to get anywhere in life, but just as important is fostering this part of me that can't help but pick up scraps of paper off the floor because they could be made into something beautiful. 



The list of recovery: First Steps

Clean and prep my letterpress, and print my mom something beautiful for Mothers day. 

Attend a paper flower class next Thursday at Pulp Papery

Finishing this Aquatic Painting series that has been building for over a year now. 

Paint my monster mask, buy horns and bring this creature to life. 

Letterpress every piece of wood, cuts, or hot type I own in the next month. 

Attend Maker Faire (http://www.makerfaire.com/), to be surrounded by my kind and use their inspiration to find mine again.

Prep and refinish my claw foot tub

Re familiarize myself with my collection of things for making things and let the pieces tell me what they are ready to become.


It's time to take my hands back.

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Words of sexual wisdom...

I post a lot of Big Poppa E stuff here, but the man speaks my brain thoughts!!! 

check it:

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I've got a special place in my heart...

...for those who keep a place in their hearts and homes for dogs others would turn their backs on. 

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Can I be pretty?

I often get asked why I got my septum pierced, or why I do weird things with my hair and the honest truth is I don't feel like I've got a real chance of ever looking "pretty" so I've opted for being "alternative."

I am not, at all, the standard of beauty. I'm heavy set with small, practically blind eyes that require glasses, and a moon face that just makes me look even chunkier.I'm a tomboy at heart and would rather wear jeans and a t-shirt than a sundress any day of the week

I've never been told by anyone other than someone I was dating, that I was pretty or beautiful and I've come to know that it's just a fact. I have been called sexy, but that's different in my mind. Alternative looking girls can be sexy because they fit into this almost fetish mold. Look at Suicide Girls! Most of those girls wouldn't be considered attractive without the crazy hair, piercings and tattoos.

So if you've ever wondered why I gravitate to these bizarre looks or alternative style, you don't have to anymore. Aside from liking the look on other people (I've become very attracted myself to other alternative styled people as well, and prefer to date people who have an alternative look), I feel like it makes me attractive to at least one sect of the population instead of being average to all of the population.

One of my friends from high school used to call me "anti pretty," which i think give the connotation that I wouldn't want to be pretty, but that's not the case. It's just something I don't think is achievable, so I don't try.

Sorry about the randomness of this post. It's been a bad day and I needed to vent a little.

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Sharing is caring.

I just wanted to take the time to share a piece of my design work that I really love. The printed version was hanging up at school for quite a while and had as a result it has slipped my mind. I got the big print back today and it reminded me just how much I love this poster. 

It's based on part of a poem by my favorite poet Big Poppa E, whom i've posted some of his stuff from youtube before. 

The small quote that is included and that the poster is based on is from a poem by Big Poppa E called Propers. The poem can be heard here:

<3

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